i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
