Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
