I'm so fucking centered right now
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
