So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Come share oat with me in your robe
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