Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
