1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Success! We fucked roommates!
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