actually, I'm a sock model
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
