You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
