so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
