Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
