I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
and i looked up. we had an audience...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
