so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
