Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
