It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
