I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
