The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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