He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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