i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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