In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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