Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
