We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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