Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
3pm strippers are depressing
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
