so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
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