I want to have your abortion
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize