a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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