Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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