I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
