Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
