Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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