Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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