so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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