you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
