I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
