I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
