Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
