okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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