I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize