Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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