how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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