he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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