thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
