whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
