You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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