Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
