Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
