Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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