just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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