Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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