I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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