Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
