I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize