that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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