That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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