do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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