Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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