WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
