Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Randomize
