I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
