We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
