I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
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