how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
