you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
