how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I didn't notice because vodka
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
