planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize