I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
