Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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