she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
