I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
