haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
