I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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